I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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