Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
