I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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