oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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