yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
