she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
