when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
