it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
