can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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