Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
