She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
