is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
