Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
