i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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