You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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