But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ladies don't puke and tell
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
