I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i dont even know how to be here
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
