strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize