you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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