I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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