I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
