It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My vagina is officially offended.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
