I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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