I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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