like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
