the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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