he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
