lets start a swedish sibling band together
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
