I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
