well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
