Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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