I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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