Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize