just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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