Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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