I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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