i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
