went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
