Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize