therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
