absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
id be glad to
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize