The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
