ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sext me about skeletons
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
