He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
