Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize