All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
