You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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