dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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