you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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