Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
