And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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