Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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