i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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