You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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