Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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