im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
